A beginner’s guide to news reports

A satirically incisive look at the formulaic nature of television news reportage.

Has fat pig nation reached the limits of porkiness?

The elephantine porkers of America, it seems, have taken a step back from the “Mr Creosote Mint Wafer Point” (see video below). Bloomberg reports that the scales are holding steady and the U.S. “obesity epidemic” may have Continue reading

Man loves dog just a little too much

The thing about bestiality stories is that we can laugh at the sexual deviances of others while not having to worry too much about the well-being of their victims. Cruel, I know, but that’s the unfortunate truth.

Last week, it was reported that a Welshman, Thomas Robert Edwards, 20, was convicted of attempting to have sex with a Rottweiler. Thomas, one might surmise, is not the brightest Continue reading

A common road sign in New Zealand

Looking back at Beatles band from the year 3000

Historians and “experts” look back from the year 3000 to the phenemenon of the Beatles one thousand years earlier. While amusing, it does highlight what we might call the Chinese whispers of history — as time passes, little mistakes can compound into huge factual eras.

Christmas Cheer! 14 of our favourite Santa cartoons

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Genetics at work

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So you think multichoice is easy?

This is for any teachers out there. As you will already know, student stupidity Continue reading

Imagine if … Fox News existed in 1938

Transcript of Fox News “Fox and Friends” for 30th September 1938

Today’s Special Topic: Chamberlain, The Munich Agreement and AppeasementFox '38

Gretchen Carlson: Here today, we’ve assembled a special panel to look at some momentous news from Great Britain where the Conservative Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain has just returned from his historic meeting with German Chancellor Adolf Hitler. I’m joined by William Kristol, Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, Rush Limburgh and of course my co-host Brian Kilmeade. Bill, just to get us started, what’s your take on Prime Minister Chamberlain as a leader?

Bill O’Reilly: Well, he’s a leader the world can respect. Chamberlain is not one of these liberals like Roosevelt who is always talking about protecting the immigrants and trade unions. Just quietly, I suspect that democrat FDR is homosexual and will soon be legalising Continue reading

Plants! Can we really trust them?

winning the war against treesI’ve never really trusted plants — we don’t know enough about them.  I mean, how can something live for such a long time without moving around or doing any exercise? Are they lazy or smart? Or both? Hmmm, suspicious isn’t it?

Well, get this — now scientists have discoved that plants can recognise their relatives. Not only that, related plants will embrace and support each other, share scarce resources and Continue reading

Have you ever been this drunk?

Here at Notes from the Bartender we do like to indulge in a few drinks and, of course, the occasional bit of binge drinking never goes amiss. But even we have our limits, and we don’t recommend that people get to the state exhibited by the unknown male in the clip below AND then try to Continue reading

Turkish coffee banned for being … Turkish!

Remember how French fries were relabelled Freedom Fries in the USA after the French refused to join Bush’s incredibly well thought out invasion of Iraq. Well, the puerile pettiness of micropolitics Continue reading

Who wants to be a sexist cougar?

Okay, in the past week we’ve posted on racism (blackface) amd sizeism (little people). Although there are many more “-isms” to cover, let’s now deal with some sexism.

The clip you are about to watch is from Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, and I can categorically state that this scene would never have occurred if the host were male and the contestant a woman. So, here we have the host, a horny old cougar, Meredith Vieira, about to devour Continue reading

Busted! Dirty Euro Politicians Checking Out Their Next Meal

Ahhh, the genius of the still photo for capturing a “moment”.

Obama’s off the hook here, in a picture that has captured a couple of Eurotrash Heads of State eyeing up a female staffer like a couple of stalking lions.

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Stormtrooper 9/11 — Where were you when the Death Star blew up?

Over at College Humor, they have just produced a short skit that is destined to become a classic. Three Imperial Stormtroopers in a bar are discussing the destruction of the Death Star one year earlier. The ongoing metaphor in this discussion is the destruction of the World Trade Center and its aftermath. Luke Skywalker is seen as something of a Bin Laden and the conspiracy theories abound. Two-and-a-half near perfect minutes of outright laughs and subtle subversion.

An absolute must watch.