Are you possessed?

The answer to this troubling question is now available thanks to the pioneering work of Pastor Bob Larson.  Bob has designed a comprehensive 21 question Demon Test that will prove once and for all whether one of Satan’s minions has taken up residence within your earthly form.

Skeptical? Bob points out the test is the result of…

…more than 30 years of research and thousands of hours in personal ministry with troubled souls. Through this vast experience I have been able, with God’s help, to design this test to quickly determine an individual’s spiritual needs.

Disturbingly, I have discovered I have a moderate risk of demonic oppression/possession, which would probably explain my predilection for virgins blood and why I woke up naked in a pentagram covered in candle wax this morning. Rest assured I’ll be posting my cash to Pastor Bob (as soon as I get the stains out of the carpet) for a copy of his seminal work THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO SPIRITUAL WARFARE. In the series I will get to learn…

● A biblical understanding of spiritual warfare
● How to become a mighty warrior the devil fears
● When, where, and how to wage effective spiritual warfare
● Ways to defeat the devil in your health, relationships, and finances

Should you still be wary, have a look at this photo of Pastor Bob.

He looks like a Tom Baker-era Dr Who crossed with the sort of bearded ginger crazy who is always causing fist fights down at your local pub. Just the bloke to give Beelzebub a much needed nose tweak…

I am from the Planet Gallifrey... get thee gone foul demon

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One Response

  1. Am relieved to discover I am at low risk. Seems any insanity is my own, not the devil’s.

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