Not my fault! Top 5 actual porn surfing excuses…

As Duffster found out not so long ago, even the most unlikely candidates turn up with porn on their hard drives. So what are the top five excuses for being caught with your pants down?

 

Er... I was searching for old school friends, honest!

Er... I was searching for old school friends, honest!

Excuse #5AccidentAn Edith Cowan University study warned parents it would be their fault for “allowing children to surf the internet unsupervised and unfiltered”. The study added, “while most 16 to 17-year-old boys admit to viewing online pornography, they claim it’s accidental”.

Excuse #4 – Ignorance – Ohio Democrat and State Rep. Matthew Barrett was giving a lecture to 20 students in the senior government class at Norwalk High School. He inserted a memory stick in his computer and a projected image of a topless woman appeared. After police interviewed him, Barrett said, “I have no idea where these came from”.

Excuse #3 – Stress Relief – James Pacenza, a former IBM employee and Vietnam vet, claimed watching porn at work helped him deal with his post-traumatic stress disorder. When IBM decided to sack him, Pacenza promptly sued for $5 million claiming he deserves treatment and sympathy rather than dismissal.

Excuse #2 – Bestial Interference – As Duffster noted in this post, Florida man, Keith Griffin, was charged this August with possessing over 1,000 child porn images. When interviewed by police, Griffin claimed he had left the room while downloading music and his cat had jumped on the keyboard. When he returned he found “strange things” on his computer.

Excuse #1 – Philanthropy – Fresh in and straight to the top spot, this is my current favourite. A senior official at the National Science Foundation, which receives $6 billion a year in US government funds, has recently been busted for “repeatedly and excessively” surfing porn sites at the office. 20% of his work hours were spent having “sexually explicit chats” with women online. Investigators put the cost to taxpayers of the porn surfing at between $13,800 and about $58,000. When confronted the official explained he frequented the porn sites to “provide a living to the poor overseas women” and claimed, “these young women are from poor countries and need to make money to help their parents and this site helps them do that.

 

Mother Teresa didn't even have dial-up - Nightmare

Mother Teresa didn't even have dial-up - Nightmare!

 


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2 Responses

  1. Definitely the cat.

  2. […] But Robert has another excuse ready: the images were downloaded by accident. Whoops! Where have we heard that sort of excuse before? […]

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