Women, Orgasms and Money (Warning: Misogynist at Work)

Ask yourself this simple question: Why is it that we find this advertisement for jewelry so amusing?


The answer to this question lies in the way in which the two images succinctly capture a number of recognisable stereotypes and myths about men, women, and sex.

The first of these myths is that women are attracted to expensive jewelry.

The second of these is that men are obviously aware of this first myth and can use it to their “advantage”.

And the third is that sex, like jewelry, is a commodity and can be used as currency within a system of exchange that permits both sexes to get what they want. (Note that this theme is also conveyed via the visual pun in the image that is based around the opening of two different types of box.)

In fact, the system of exchange captured so succinctly in these images is little different to our earlier investigation of virgins auctioning off their vaginas to the highest bidder.

One other aspect of this ad that allows us to laugh openly at it is that the power dynamic at work here does not obviously favor the man over the woman, therefore it avoids claims of sexism.

But is this really an equitable exchange or does one party benefit more than the other? I ask this question because of a recent study that complicates these assumptions somewhat and, as it turns out, shows that the woman may be getting the best of this transaction.

According to a study reported in The Times about women, money and orgasms, the sexual “favor” that a woman may have to provide in exchange for the gift here is likely to be just as pleasurable sexually for her as the male. Not only is she getting her rocks on, she is also getting her rocks off, according to the psychologists from Newcastle University. What these researchers discovered is that when measuring factors that contribute to frequency of orgasm in women, it is money that counts:

Scientists have found that the pleasure women get from making love is directly linked to the size of their partner’s bank balance.

They found that the wealthier a man is, the more frequently his partner has orgasms.

“Women’s orgasm frequency increases with the income of their partner,” said Dr Thomas Pollet, the Newcastle University psychologist behind the research.

He believes the phenomenon is an “evolutionary adaptation” that is hard-wired into women, driving them to select men on the basis of their perceived quality.

While these findings may seem quite revelatory to some, it would appear that many (perhaps all) women already know this. Consider this conversation from the Overheard in New York website in which both female participants are already cognisant of this link between pleasure and money:

Woman #1: It’s really small, you know, but the sex is wonderful.
Woman #2: You mean he’s rich?
Woman #1: Yeah. Exactly.

So, the arcane secrets that women keep to themselves occasionally slip out, revealing what men have often suspected but seldom have confirmed. What this tells us is that it is not only sex but also the orgasm itself that is a purchasable commodity.

What can men learn from this study?

Well, you can forget about all that Cosmo stuff you’ve ever read about foreplay. Forget about finding erogenous zones, the G-spot or even the clitoris. Instead, just rub her down with a couple of fifties and she’ll be popping off in no time.

Three Additional Questions for the Psychologists at Newcastle to consider (in all seriousness).

1)      Do rich women have more orgasms than poor women when they masturbate immediately after looking at their own bank balances?

2)      In different cultures where wealth is not measured in money but in animals, do women have more orgasms with men who own more goats or camels?

3)      Is Bill Gates’ wife floating through life in a post-multi-orgasmic haze?

Gosh, I feel sorry for the poor wife of poverty-stricken Dr Throttling.


7 Responses

  1. Have you ever considered it may also work the other way around?

    I’m having so many orgasms I can barely walk….

  2. poverty-stricken, hahahahahahahha

  3. Umm, sorry to stop the post blog slapping of backs here gents, but I can stand confident in the fact that a bank balance is NOT the one thing that gets my rocks off.

    I don’t have a rock ON – so maybe I’m not qualified?

    My opinion comes from first hand experience of an extremely wealthy business man wanting to breed with me [due in part – and I kid you not – my eyes, and bone structure] And I say BREED because I hardly knew him, yet he was pretty much walking me down the isle to the maternity ward. I turned him down flat, not because of an account error, no, because something else was missing – that thing you scoffed at – romance. Where was the late night phone calls not being able to stay way from each other? Where was the hidden note in a lunch bag telling me of his adoration?

    No, for me it’s not money that will win this gals hand [and womb] – it’s purely chemistry, and some bloody good shagging – money or no money.

  4. “Hidden note in a lunch bag”??

    Money or no money, is that a seduction technique that actually works?

    “Here’s your packed lunch Honey, have a great day”

    I shall note that down…..

  5. I’m now analysing past partners to try to work out if I knew *any* of their bank balances beforehand….!

    I’m pretty sure lots of them were semi-destitute. But, since I’m not so much a fan of shiny jewels, perhaps this theory doesn’t apply to me?

  6. To make this as scientific as possible, perhaps you could look at how well off they appear now, divide their estimated wealth by the frequency with which you experienced orgasm with them and then we would have some sort of orgasm/wealth, or OW, factor with which we can measure them.

  7. […] of ingredients that contribute to attraction between the sexes. Not long ago we looked at the sexual effects of money on women. This week, it’s a look at how men are affected by the amount of clothes (or lack of them) worn […]

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