Dolphin Speech: Lost in Translation

While it’s not actually summer yet, here in Australia, it certainly felt so at the weekend. Not a cloud in the sky, gentle breeze, probably around 25ºC…

When your summers were spent in the flint grey North Sea, this is hard to pass up

When your summers were spent in the flint grey North Sea, this is hard to pass up

So, finding myself on the gorgeous Hyams Beach in Jervis Bay, I decided to bare my pallid flesh and go for a dip. I am more of a floater than a swimmer and the water temperature was bracing enough that there was only one other as adventurous as myself but, as I bobbed around in the beautiful briny, I felt at peace with the world.

Until someone pointed past my left shoulder and shouted “Hey! Look!”


And for a horrid moment I was transported back to the front row of a crowded cinema where, at the tender age of 14, I had sat, huddled in fear, as John William’s epic score thundered out the opening bars of the Jaws theme.

That moment passed with a relieved shudder, as I saw the family group of 20 or so Common Dolphins cruising along the beach, occasionally coming within 4 or 5 meters or so of their pale, landborne cousin.

And it was then that I kicked myself for not having invested in a Dolphin Communication Orgone Pendant.

Apparently, “Humanity is ready more than ever before to receive the wisdom of the magickal dolphin”.

And for a mere US$77 it could have brought “life-changing spiritual strength, healing and wisdom for those who seek the dolphin spirit”.

Instead I floundered around and splashed a bit, merely grateful not to have been shark fodder. And when the dolphins gave one last series of clicks and sped off into the distance, I suspect they were saying, “Sod this, he’s a boring tool… let’s go and get some fish”.

One Response

  1. When you truly open yourself up to the wonders and magic of the natural world it is a wonderful thing.You can mock Throttling but I myself am constantly receiving reassuring little asides from some of the small pieces of clay outside my kitchen window. Send you a bag for a fiver.

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