Heroes – Sidney Frank

In Two Tribes, Frankie Goes To Hollywood asks us “Are we living in a land where Sex and Horror are the new gods?”

The answer would appear to be yes.

And the prophets of this new religion preach from tabloid scrolls or wring their hands on primetime in digestible nuggets of Infocrap™ laughably called “Current Affairs”.

Every religion needs its demons and, among others, the demon Booze has been unearthed from his musty lair, to be prodded and goaded into terrifying us grown-ups all over again. At least the children only have the paedophiles to be frightened of.

Darling? Can you smell Jagermeister?

Darling? Can you smell Jagermeister?

Enough! It is time to celebrate a HERO. A man who proved to the world that booze can make the world a happier, better, wiser place.

A man called Sidney Frank.

An enterprising individual, Sidney Frank founded his own importing business and had his first success after he purchased the rights to import and distribute Jacques Cardin Cognac from Seagram. But he really hit the jackpot when someone brought him a German 70-proof digestif that had been marketed as a medicinal product. He immediately recognised its potential and began to import and sell the bitter-sweet rocket fuel as “The Best Drink in the World.”

That drink was Jagermeister.

Already the man had done enough to label him our hero. How many late night philosophy sessions could have reached their profound depths of enlightenment without the aid of Sidney Frank and his magical elixir?

He had also become a billionaire. But what he did next cemented him as one of the great legends of alcohol.

He gave his money away.

Have a shot of philanthropy kid.

Have a shot of philanthropy kid.

For a start, he donated $120 million to the university he had been forced to leave due to poverty. No student would ever be forced to quit through lack of funds again. He presented huge bonuses to his staff. He gave many other millions in gifts to educational, science and sports programmes across the world. Frank died in 2006 leaving a legacy of learning and sticky bartops for all time.

Sidney Frank. Man. Legend. Purveyor of sweet, sweet liquor.

We salute you.

Oh… and to those frenzied tabloid soothsayers waving bloody entrails at us and screaming that the end is nigh?

Frankie says RELAX.

To learn more about how Sidney cornered the Jagermeister market have a look at our follow up post – Sidney Frank Revisited

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5 Responses

  1. It’s possible poor Sidney Frank rolled in his grave the day someone (I’m sure you can find out who) decided to defile his medicinal elixir by dumping it in a tumbler of red bull. But I couldn’t have been happier. Mmm, Jagerbombs….

  2. That man needs a Jagerbomb… You should let him know…

  3. […] Posted on September 29, 2009 by DrThrottling As we have discussed in this previous post, Sidney Frank is one of our […]

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