Deadly Alien Alert!

The appearance of a heavily armed protester at an Obama event in Phoenix, Arizona has caused only the merest ripple in the mainstream media. They failed to follow up sources and dig deep enough to reveal the reptilian claw behind the protests.

The little known 17th amendment also allows citizens to behave like dicks.
The little known 17th amendment also allows citizens to behave like dicks.

According to later reports, organiser Ernest Hancock, a right wing online radio host, has connections to the Viper Militia. This hardy band of, mainly, unemployed gun enthusiasts swore an oath, in the early 1990s, to “enter into mortal combat against enemies of the U.S. Constitution” and began to stockpile weapons and explosives.

Fortunately the Feds got wind of their elaborate plan to blow up things and managed to infiltrate a snitch into their ranks in 1996, thus ensuring Obama’s presidential victory. The members of the Viper Militia recieved prison terms ranging from 1 to 6 years and it seemed their scheme was foiled.

However, they have now returned and the apathetic mainstream media has failed to realise that Ernest Hancock is actually the deadliest of adversaries. Instead of being a human, well meaning radio host who believes in freedom and the American Way™ (unless you’re not from around these here parts… shpitaaang) it can now been revealed that Ernest Hancock is, in fact, fiendish agent of the New World Order and evil alien lizard creature Wilf Ziissstfiissst.

CNN coverage. Ziissstfiissst's unconvincing, rubbery human costume can be clearly spotted. He also ordered gerbil for lunch.
CNN coverage. Ziissstfiissst’s unconvincing, rubbery human costume can be clearly spotted. He also ordered gerbil for lunch.

CNN featured an interview with Ziissstfiissst,  little knowing of his terrifying reptilian heritage and his plan to overthrow warm-blooded democracy, and merely offered up softball questions such as “What time is it?” and “Are Mexicans actually beetles?”

Fortunately the lizard creatures fiendish Phoenix plot failed when a passing cat alarmed one of their number and his tail dropped off. But the incident has highlighted the fact that only the never-ceasing vigilance of mammalian kind can keep the world from their scaly alien grip.

After all… we all remember what happened in 1983 right?

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