Gosh! Thanks Mum and Dad!

Keeping growing kids happy can be hard these days. Choosing something for a child’s birthday gift can be even more so. What do they really want? What do kids think is cool? What will they think of you if you buy them something that will get them teased at school?

Thankfully the man behind the original G.I. Joe doll has created a line of biblically inspired figurines that will make fruit of your loins think you are the World’s Coolest Parents™.

Pow! Meet Samson…. yeah, that Samson. And this time there aren’t scantily clad, scissor wielding strumpets around who can stop him.  

 

Yeah! Samson rocks! (Guitar sold separately)

Yeah! Samson rocks! (Guitar sold separately)

 

Or how about seeing their faces light up as they unwrap their very own Moses!

Think of the hours of entertainmant your kids will have as they re-create the tale of the burning bush in the back garden. Imagine their howls of glee as they manage to part the waters of their bathtub at night and escape the pursuing Egyptians. Crafted in 100% genuine plastic the multi-poseable action figurine is modeled on Charlton Heston himself in order to achieve actual biblical realism.  

 

Boy, is he going to be pissed when he gets home and finds Barbi's been worshipping a golden calf.

Boy, is he going to be pissed when he gets home and finds Barbi's been worshipping a golden calf.

 

But this range of fantastic toys isn’t just limited to single figurines. They also have a fabulous multi-piece play sets like this Noah’s Ark complete with almost all the world’s creatures. Imagine how much fun they will have as God’s wrath washes all traces of Man’s wickedness from Earth leaving Noah and his family floating to safety with a shipload of breeding stock. 

 

Hey! Where's Mr and Mrs Brontosaurus?

Hey! Where's Mr and Mrs Brontosaurus?

 

Yes, this fantastic range of toys are the key to any child’s heart. Think of how much more they will love you when they realise how well you understand them. Think of how proudly they will boast to their friends about their brilliant parents as they show off these superb figurines.

But spare a thought for those friends. Some of those poor kids have parents who are atheists. 

 

Grow-Your-Own-Pet kit. In 300 million years you can evolve your very own puppy

Grow-Your-Own-Pet kit. In 300 million years you can evolve your very own puppy

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One Response

  1. Hello from a random stranger – I love this!

    My son has a Noah’s ark set but in order to purge religious influences from our house we have re-named it “Al’s Ark”. Captained by Al Gore our boat is all that will save humanity in the post-climate change global flood.

    Now who said atheism couldn’t be fun…

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